Happy Valentine’s Day!

Valentine’s Day is literally THE BEST. IDGAF if you’re single, in a relationship, or try’na get hitched. If anyone comes at you with that “It’s all just corporate, Hallmark marketing BS” BS, shove a chocolate heart in their face and tell them to STFU and stop complaining about candy.

There’s several things I’m looking forward to today as a completely single lady:

-House of Cards binge-a-thon.
-Perfect excuse to binge eat chocolate
-Totally appropriate time to be completely inappropriate and creepy

I cannot, for the life of me, figure out why anyone would hate Valentine’s Day. So, no one bought you chocolate and flowers and you don’t have a romantic date night planned. Good news: it’s now Valentine’s Day so all of the chocolate and flowers are 50% off at the drug store and you don’t have to get out of sweat pants.

Have you ever met a couple who LOVED Valentine’s Day? Hell no. They have to face the pressure of a perfect evening and perfect gifts. The rest of us get to take advantage of everyone else’s miserable relationship and eat enormous amounts of discount candy while we Netflix binge.

So, get over being single and if you’re in a relationship: bummer. It’s the best day ever.

(Also, go buy this:)

relationship status(via)



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