Snowpocoloypse 2014: A Film Review

My favorite thing about snow in the South is the free pass to sit on my ass and watch TV. It’s the one time that excessive binge watching loses the earmark of laziness and lack of ambition. Not that it ever made a difference for me, but…. anyway.

Genetically, Southerners are unable to drive in snow and we can only play it in for so long before our hearts stop from overexposure to sub 30-degree things. That leaves TV and snacks. Most amateurs stock up on milk and bread but the real pros (myself) buy the last four buffalo chicken pizzas in the grocery story and get stuck at a house where funny people live.

Stocked with the necessities, let the OnDemand and shitty TV movie marathon begin:

  1. Enough Said, 2013

Best movie ever? No. Would I own it and watch it for good feels? Yes. The chemistry between James Gandolfini and Julia Louis-Dreyfus is ahhhh-dorable and awkward, relying a lot more on witty charm than prototypical Hollywood romance. Scratch the staring into the eyes and intense make out sessions and sub awkward flirting and giggles. They don’t seem like a believable couple aesthetically, but that seems to be the point. I like when films pull at the heartstrings of reality, and we found ourselves involuntary grinning and cringing as their on screen, awkward relationship unfolded and unraveled. It nailed the romantic ending, too, in my opinion. I won’t spoil it, but I would describe it as clean. Gandolfini: miss ya tons.

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  1. You’ve Got Mail, 1998

If you haven’t seen this…. I don’t… I don’t even know. Go watch it and pretend you’ve seen it the better side of twenty times. Don’t ever admit out loud that it’s taken you this long. My mom went through an obsessive phase with this movie, but for the rest of us, it’s one that you don’t go out of your way to watch but you always watch it when it’s on… which it was. Bursting in nostalgia, from the whining screech of dial up AOL to Meg Ryan pre-plastic surgery, it’s the perfect afternoon-on-the-couch romantic comedy that not even the most manly man can escape from loving. (Also, does anyone else get surprised and confused every time Dave Chapelle appears?) It happened to air in the morning as we all started to wake up, which leads me to believe half of the magic of this movie is in the timing of the rerun.

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  1. A Case of You, 2013

After switching back and forth between Rehab Addict (or as I call it, the show that would be really cool if the most annoying girl ever didn’t host it) and US Drug Wars on NatGeo, we found this random gem OnDemand. I’m not surprised this went under the radar. It had potential but just fell short in every element, even with such a promising cast – Justin Long, Evan Rachel Wood, Vince Vaughan, and even short appearances by Sam Rockwell and Peter Dinklage. It was a timely story of a dude who Facebook stalks his crush and pretends to like all the same thing as her. Who can’t relate to that? Unfortunately, the acting fell on the axe of the boring writing and it took us four hours to get through because more interesting things interrupted. (More interesting things while trapped inside with nothing to do, at that.)

There was one random scene where Justin Long puts a dollar in a hipster’s chai latte because he thought he was a homeless person that made me laugh really hard, though.

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  1. Crazy, Stupid, Love, 2011

Sjdsfjsdwajkcsk, this movie is just the best. It’s a guilty pleasure with no reason to feel guilty, because it’s just good. Ryan Gosling and Steve Carrell’s banter makes me want to third wheel their bromance. The whole movie has a really playful tone and remains laughable even during the most awkward scenes. The casting and acting is well done and the script is well written with perfect comedic timing. No, obvs not an award winning drama, but it’s not written to be one, either. It’s just a perfectly messy love story(ies). I think the gushy romantics could get lost in the Gosling/Stone relationship, but the real adorable factor is Steve Carrell and his family and their accidental hopeless romantic genes. If I see this in the DVD bin while grocery shopping, I’ll buy it.

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  1. The Way, Way Back, 2013

Sibling to Little Miss Sunshine, it’s pretty much perfect, despite what a lot of critics said about it. I appreciate a good coming of age story and this one centers around the worst age ever with a 13-year-old boy lead that deals with his patronizing dick-face mom’s boyfriend and his own crippling insecurity. Sam Rockwell (<3<3<3<3!!!), the charmingly deadbeat operator of a shitty water park, unknowingly guides him into growing up. Not to mention: Maya Rudolph and the two writers who fit like gloves in supporting Rockwell’s character. Steve Carrell plays a phenomenal asshole boyfriend and I almost suspect they cast him for his ability to nail a condescending facial expression in a rear view mirror. It’s my humble opinion that if you don’t like this movie, you’re probably dumb.

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  1. The Ring, 2002

I love horror movies but I admit that most don’t actually scare me for longer than the credits that follow. This movie legitimately scared  scares me. The literal concept of a VHS tape with a deadly vendetta is pretty ridiculous. However, The Ring rocks because when I saw it in theaters, my brothers pinned my arms down on the arm rest so I couldn’t cover my eyes and I had nightmares for weeks about it. The tape seems to be the center of fear, but the film actually uses everything but the tape to induce horror – the acting isn’t shitty, the tone is really consistent and impressionable, and the cinematography has a lot of special detail to create a creepy and unnerving story line that uproots from the normal flow of a horror movie. The Ring was groundbreaking in a way, giving birth to that whole grudge-faced creepy girl/lurking demented shadow character and expanding past the boogy-man or big bad in the closet. My one gripe is that the clairvoyant child is sort of random and inconsistent, but despite him, I get nervous I might die in a week every time I watch this movie.

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Also good for the Snowpocolypse:

-Getting the car stuck trying to get to the store
-Scattagories
-Trying to sled on yoga mats
-Building snowmen who lay down instead of stand up, because “No one stands up on a snow day.”
-Having dogs

…but that’s for another post another day. Anyone else on the Southeast have a snowpocolyptic movie adventure?

 

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